Loss and Gain
by EmmaSnape94
Summary: Set at ending of Ironman 1. What if Tony underestimated the magnitude of the arc reactor overload? What if that underestimation put Pepper in peril? Will the loss of something important help him appreciate life in a new way?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I do not own Ironman; if I did I wouldn't be writing this. I started writing this a couple days ago before seeing Ironman 2. I'm going to finish this before seeing it so I won't have any of that in here. Please review!**

Pepper Potts stood in horror as the man she loved was beat down, being hit over and over again with barely an equal defense for himself. He has told her to overload the arc energy generator to induce an energy release that would cause an explosion hopefully large enough to disarm Obadiah Stane's suit. Pepper could now see that Tony was on the middle of the roof where the explosion would be most lethal. His helmet had come off and he no longer had the advantage of Jarvis. Hanging by his arms, Tony was thinking through his options. He kept coming up with the overload. He know it would put himself and maybe even Ms. Potts in danger but Pepper was smart and he believed that she would be able to escape in time. Potts was all he had. No wife, no kids, as Yensin said, he had everything and nothing.

"Pepper!" Tony yelled down to her.

Pepper looked up in disbelief and defiance knowing what he wanted her to do but needing clarification nonetheless.

"Hit the button!" Tony yelled.

"No, it might kill you!" she replied.

"Just do it!" Tony screamed at her, sounding but not feeling sure that he would make it out alive.

Pepper smashed down the button and ran to get out of the building knowing it would soon explode. As she was running out, debris was falling all around her. Just as she opened the door to the hallway, a metal beam fell slamming her to the ground and hitting her head against the concrete floor. Pepper blinked several times to try and clear her head of the fog but it was no use. Pieces of the building were beginning to rain down and she knew the arc reactor would soon explode. Pepper tried to stand up but the beam was holding her legs down and she fell to the floor, fog overtaking her mind, fell limp into unconsciousness.

Tony landed on the roof of the building after fighting Stane. He knew that Stane had been defeated but didn't have enough power to save himself. He knew in his heart that he was going to die and as he lay on the roof of the destroyed building with his power flickering, he had many regrets. Mainly he regretted not paying any attention to what his company was doing and never being the man that people could look up to and respect. His biggest regret, however, didn't only affect him: he had loved Pepper and never told her. His last thought before succumbing to the veil of darkness covering his mind was for the wellbeing and future of the only woman that ever really understood him.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I just realized that this file hadn't all the way uploaded so here is the full version of this chapter. There's really not that much that was cut off but I feel bad.**

Tony wasn't sure what was going on. He was pretty sure he was dead but he had the slightest inclination that there were people around him. His ears were ringing and he couldn't seem to open his eyes. Tony tried to lift his hand to his face but it felt as if it had been injected with lead. He squeezed his hand closed to try and wake it up. As soon as he had done that, he heard some muffled noise.

'Maybe I'm not dead,' he thought

He again tried to open his eyes but was only able to open them slightly and immediately closed them. The light around him was extremely bright. Opening up his eyes again and blinking slowly he saw half a dozen doctors surrounding him. His ears were still ringing badly enough that he could not understand what they were trying to say. He looked over at the wall and realized it had only been a few hours since the fight with Stane. Tony felt tired and his head hurt but other than that he felt fine. He couldn't feel any broken bits. He looked down at his chest and saw that the doctors had replaced the worn out arc reactor with the one that had been stolen by Stane. His suit was standing in the corner looking quite a bit worn, scraped, and dented but definitely fixable. One of the doctors slowly approached him asking a question he couldn't quite make out. Tony lofted his heavy arm and pointed to his ear. The doctor nodded and pulled out a pen and paper.

'How are you feeling?' wrote the doctor. His name tag read Dr. John Williams.

Tony verbally responded with "okay, I want to go home."

Dr. Williams shook his head no at him in amusement. Tony Stark really did live up to his reputation of an individualistic know-it-all.

Tony moved to stand up but Williams tried to stop him.

"I want to go home." Tony said in protest. Immediately after thinking about home, he thought of Pepper Potts.

"Pepper Potts," Tony said aloud to the doctor. Williams shrugged and wrote on the paper 'who?'

Tony was furious. He knew she would have been monitoring him unless she was in the hospital herself.

"You haven't had a patient by that name?" Tony asked.

Williams wrote back 'No, only you and a few people from the car accident.'

Tony stood and walked over to the suit beginning to manually ready it for use. His hearing was slowly returning but the ringing stayed. He told the doctor of this.

"What are you going to do?" Dr. Williams asked.

"I'm going to find Ms. Potts." Tony replied.

"You can't." Williams was definitely getting on Tony's nerves.

"Yes I can, don't tell me what I can and can't do."

Tony put on the suit and woke up Jarvis.

"Jarvis, is Ms. Potts at home?" he asked the super computer.

"No, sir, she never returned," it replied. "Should I call her cell phone?"

"Yes," Tony replied worried. Pepper's phone rang several times but he got her voicemail.

"Hang up," Tony commanded. "Where is her car, Jarvis?"

"Sir, her GPS says her car is in the Stark Enterprises lab parking lot."

"Thank you." Tony walked outside of the hospital and took off in search of Potts. He landed by the destroyed building. Pepper's car was still there, some debris had landed on it.

"No," he said. He walked into the building and headed for the section 16 laboratory. When he entered the main room he saw the remnants of the original arc generator that he had ordered Pepper to overload. She was indeed very smart but he had never let her use her talent being selfish, wanting her to be there for him. He now felt guilt and uneasiness as he walked through the destruction. Tony lifted several large pieces of ruble but found nothing. He had to be precise and carful to be sure and not injure her if she was under something. Tony ordered Jarvis to run a life scan of the room. After a couple minutes of scanning different parts of the room, to his horror, Jarvis found nothing.

"What have I done?" Tony asked himself.

He continued to look for her, pulling metal and other building materials out of the way angrily as he know this was his fault.

'I never should have made her do that,' he thought hating himself for what had happened.

Tony searched the entire lab room for Pepper Potts getting more and more angry with himself. After finding no trace of Pepper's body he moved to a corridor next to the main lab. Removing a fallen beam, he opened the door to find a mass of thick debris. Lifting a wall panel from the floor he found a small black high heeled shoe. Staring at the shoe in his hand, Tony noticed tears of grief and anger rolling down his face. Slowly, morosely, Tony lifted up a large twisted metal beam and another wall panel to fin Pepper Potts sprawled on the floor face down. Her legs were trapped under a smaller beam. He lifted the beam off her legs and seeing her bloodied body, shook with anger at himself. Leaning down, he carefully rolled over her limp body seeing her blood covered face. His anger at himself resulted in a steady flow of tears down his face as he picked her up and held her. He stood, carrying her with him and left the building. Uncovering her car from the debris that had landed, he opened the back door and carefully loaded her in.

"I'm so sorry," he said to her lifeless body.

He quickly removed his suit and got into the driver's seat pulling out of the parking lot headed for the hospital. He wasn't sure why he didn't just call the paramedics. Maybe he just needed more time with her. Loading Jarvis into the cars navigation computer, he ordered the supercomputer to inform the hospital of his returning and the details of Ms. Pepper Potts. Sitting at a red light, Tony turned to look at her. Reaching back for her hand he grasped it. Crying softly, he held her hand while starring at her face. All the angles, curves, lines that she hated but he secretly loved. He looked over her features, memorizing them, instilling them in his mind to never forget. Finally getting to her hands, he studied the lean, dainty beauty of them. Just as he was about to turn back to the car he felt a twitch of her finger under his own hand. Looking back over to her face he saw the corner of her mouth move. Tony spun back around in the seat noticing the light change; he swerved around the other cars and began speeding through traffic to get to the hospital.

"Jarvis, alert the hospital that Pepper Potts is alive!"

"Yes, sir," Jarvis replied.

Arriving at the hospital, he was met by an emergency team at the door. As soon as he pulled, medical workers were already surrounding Pepper's Audi ready to get her out of the car. Tony refused to leave her side as the led her in on a gurney with a backboard and a neck brace forcing an oxygen mask over her face.

"Sir, we need you to stay here while we run some tests," a hospital employee informed him.

"No, I need to go with her," Tony protested.

"Sir, you are neither a relative nor a spouse, you cannot go with her," the woman replied.

Tony, seeing he had no choice but oblige to the adamant woman, sat down on a bench outside of the doors they had just taken Pepper through.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I'm sorry. But here's a chapter and the next one is almost finished. If anyone notices errors with the medical stuff, I'm not a med student, just send me a message or review and tell me what's wrong. Thanks! Oh and please review with your thoughts. They both get a bit OOC in this so be warned.**

Tony sat, and sat, and sat with no one giving him a second glance. For three hours Tony sat with no word on Pepper. Finally, Tony got up and asked the least busy nurse he could find about the status of Ms. Virginia Potts. The nurse, after telling him off for bothering her when was so busy and being a family member, finally let Tony know that Pepper was in ICU on the 7th floor of the hospital and had just gotten' out of surgery. After thanking the petulant nurse, Tony ran to the nearest elevator and began cursing at how slow the elevators were. When he arrived on the 7th floor he ran to the nurse's station and began trying to persuade the head nurse to allow him into Pepper's room. In the middle of what he thought was a very impressive argument, Tony felt tap his shoulder. He turned around to see a bald, bespectacled man in his early 40s carrying a leather briefcase.

"Mr. Stark," began the man, "my name is Wilson Henry. I'm Ms. Potts' personal attorney."

"Look, my actions were in her interest-" Tony began feeling accused.

"No, no, Sir. You have nothing to apologize for. That's why I'm here." Mr. Henry motioned to two chairs sitting near a window. Tony walked with him and sat down.

"Mr. Stark, as Ms. Potts' attorney under these circumstances, I am required to tell you that Ms. Potts previously recorded documents that she felt were necessary in case something of this nature were to unfortunately happen." Mr. Henry then he opened up his briefcase removing an envelope and handing it to Tony. Tony looked up at the man praying that these papers were not her Will. Tony wasn't sure what he'd do if Pepper died as a result to something could have prevented. Opening up the envelope, he unfolded the crisp paper, and to his slight relief, read that three years ago, Pepper had granted him Heath Care Power of Attorney.

"Wait, wait. What does this mean?" Tony asked.

"Sir, you have the right to make health care decisions for Ms. Potts if she is unable to." Mr. Henry explained.

"Why did she do this?" Tony asked in disbelief that Pepper would trust him something as important as this.

"I really couldn't tell you, sir. All she stated was that she didn't want it to be anyone else."

Tony sat and thought about why in hell Pepper would let him be responsible for her life.

"Does this mean I can see her?" asked Tony.

"Yes, you will also be updated on her by the doctors and staff."

"Thank you," Tony offered his hand but the man did not take it. Instead he gave him nod and got onto the nearest elevator.

Tony sat down in the chair he had just previously occupied and thought about what had just been thrust upon him. He quickly gathered his thoughts and proceeded to Pepper's room. As he approached, a doctor came out of her door in purple scrubs.

"Mr. Stark, I'm Dr. Rachael Reynolds." She shook Tony's hand. "Ms. Potts is extremely lucky you found her. Her injuries cover a wide range and though her surgery went well, we'll still be watching her closely. Her leg is broken in two places, her foot has several broken bones, she has three fractured ribs, and a broken pinky finger. Right now she is still unconscious but the anesthesia from surgery may still be affecting her. She is very lucky. The extent of her injuries does not reflect the trauma. It could have been a lot worse. She has a concussion but it's very mild. We're still going to take her down for a CT scan to rule out other brain injuries or damage that we may not have seen." Tony just listened in shock. Because of his stupid decision, Pepper could have brain damage.

"Can I go in and see her?" he asked hesitantly.

"Yes, but we're going to be taking her back out for the CT scan in a few minutes. You can wait in her room while we do the scan if you wish. And I want to warn you, her face is injured and is beginning to bruise. I know you brought her in but it looks different now."

Tony nodded and watched as Dr. Reynolds walked away. He turned and grabbed the door handle, taking a second to compose himself again, and entered.

Pepper was laying in the hospital bed, all manner of tubes and wires attached to her. Tony walked over to her side. Her face had an oxygen mask but he could see several small cuts as well as a large gash that ran from the top of her left ear to the middle of her forehead. Her left leg was in a cast from her mid thigh to her toes and her left hand was splinted around her pinky finger. Tony searched her face for a sign that she was really alive. The heart monitor was beeping but he wasn't sure if he believed its rhythm. He just stood there watching her.

'_How could I have let this happen,'_ he asked himself. '_I'm the one who should be hurt, not her_.'

Tony wasn't sure what he would do if she had permanent injuries from this. He walked closer to the bed and reached out to touch her hand with his index finger. Pepper's hair was pulled back untidily, her body was mangled, and she was wearing a hospital gown but Tony could think of time when she looked so beautiful. A knock on the door made him turn. Dr. Reynolds and two nurses stood in the doorway.

"We'll bring her back in a few minutes, Mr. Stark." Tony again just nodded at the doctor in reply. They pushed her down for her scans and when they had left Tony found a seat by the window and peaked out at the stars. He had never been a religious man but he prayed anyways. Tony Stark was an individualistic narcissist but if ever he wanted help, and not for himself, it was now. Tony prayed for ten minutes but ended up in an argument with his self about how he could have kept Pepper safe. He laid his head in his hands trying to prepare for the worst. He would have to make her medical decisions for her if she was unable and truthfully, that scared the hell out of him. Tony was so worried that he didn't notice when the nurses brought Pepper back in. Dr. Reynolds touched his shoulder to get his attention. He looked up, his stomach in knots.

"Mr. Stark-" she began but Tony raised his hand in protest.

"Please call me Tony," he asked.

"Sure, Tony," she obliged, "after running the tests we've determined that Ms. Potts should have no permanent damage from her injuries. As far as her prolonged state of unconsciousness, I'm not sure what to expect. She seems to be breathing normally. When she regains consciousness, we'll move her out of ICU and watch her from there."

Tony stood and looked over at Pepper in concern but deep relief. He prayed a silent thank you to whoever had been listening.

"Thank you, doctor," Tony said feeling the relief relax his body.

"Please, call me Rachael," Dr. Reynolds asked. "Do you want me to have a cot brought in for you to sleep on?"

"No, I'll be fine, thanks," he replied. Rachael turned to leave but addressed Tony a last time before leaving. "She wouldn't have made it if it hadn't been for you, Tony."

After she had left, Tony scooted his chair over next to Pepper's bed and sat down. He lifted her hand placing his protectively over hers before laying his head down and submitting to sleep.


End file.
